February 23 Lunch Meeting Summary

Michelle Phaneuf, P.Eng, Q.Med. presented an overview of what conflict is and how to effectively manage it. Allowing people a chance to get through their emotions is key to moving towards resolution of issues. Michelle shared some approaches that can be used to help surface the emotions that arise during conflict to drill down to the core issues. Michelle also led the group through role play scenarios to allow us to try out these new techniques.

Michelle is a specialist in conflict resolution and works with employees and teams to lead them through conflict to creative solutions. One-on-one conflict coaching will allow you to see your situation in a different light and conflict training for staff will improve workplace dynamics. For additional information on Michelle's company, please follow this link to her website www.rea-agreements.com

• Conflict occurs when a person’s needs are not being met or acknowledged. Needs are our values, beliefs, fears, concerns, etc. Examples of needs would be respect, responsibility, professionalism, independence, fun, accountability, appreciation, recognition, acknowledgement, etc.
• There are no difficult people – they are just people who are displaying behaviour to indicate that they have not been able to have their needs met or recognized.
• It’s never about YOU, it’s about determining the unmet, unacknowledged needs of the other party.
• Conflict, in itself, is not a bad thing. Conflict is a natural and healthy process, necessary for making progress and dealing with change. The world may actually need more conflict, not less, if the appropriate skills are known and conflict can be managed productively.
• You may see conflict as “us” against “them”, but if you reframe conflict to “us” against “the problem”, resolution will be simple and mutual.
• The goal is not to end or eliminate conflict but simply to transform the way it is expressed from destructive forms such as aggression, bad behaviour and intolerance into constructive forms such as dialogue and negotiation.
• It’s not about being RIGHT, getting your way or convincing people. There is a big difference between dialogue (conversation between two or more persons) and debate (a contest in which opposing sides of a proposition are argued).